Maximizing Productivity and Purpose with Disciplined Focus and Boundaries

Embark on a journey to reclaim your time and focus, as we tap into strategies that guarantee a surge in productivity and a clearer sense of purpose. This episode is your personal blueprint for navigating the chaotic tides of daily life, from the moment you select your outfit to the execution of your most crucial business tasks. We'll delve into how I've harnessed the power of disciplined scheduling and razor-sharp concentration to transform my entrepreneurial endeavors and personal growth journey. By sharing tangible examples, like the ease with which our thoughts can meander during a workout, I hope to arm you with the tools for unwavering focus and the art of keeping distractions at bay.

Listen closely as I highlight Mel Robbins take on the impact of setting boundaries and how it mirrors the respect you demand from the world around you. We'll explore the subtle signs of disrespect that can permeate our interactions and how we can courageously teach others to value us and our time. 

Moreover, we'll talk about the liberating process of building a radiant future, unshackled from the restraints of past traumas. With anecdotes from my own experiences with coaching, I emphasize the transformative power of presence, gratitude, and the guidance of mentors in charting a path toward success. Tune in for an empowering conversation that promises to reshape the way you approach your personal and professional life.

Chapters

• 0:30 Mastering Your Schedule and Thoughts
• 8:38 Setting Boundaries and Self-Respect
• 21:02 Creating a Future Beyond Past Traumas

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:30

All right. So today there's a few things that I want to cover, first and foremost, the agents and entrepreneurs that I have been coaching. The same thing came up three times, so I thought I would mention it here Schedule. So if you are not running your schedule or calendar, it is more than likely running you, and what I mean by that is that when you wake up in the morning, do you know what you're doing, where you're going, what your morning looks like when you're going to fuel your body and eat lunch, what your evening looks like? If you need transportation for kids or meals planned, is all that taken care of, or are you waking up in complete chaos? The morning gets away from you, you're running late, your kid misses the bus, or you're late for that meeting. You don't know what you're wearing, you forget to brush your teeth, I don't know. The list goes on and on, but really think about that. Think about how you're starting your day and what your day looks like.

Speaker 1: 1:56

So many people are just unorganized or let items and things come into their day and disrupt what they should be doing, and it's really things that don't need to disrupt you. They're not emergencies. Take real estate, for example. You need to be working on building your business every single day, which is prospecting, reaching out to people, filling your pipeline, and that's probably in most any business Advertising, you know, really getting in front of people. And if you set the time aside for that and then you let all the little things get in the way, like your phone beeps or a text comes through or an email happens or a phone call, or you have Facebook up or social media and you're distracted, you are doing yourself such a disservice, because I remember when I was on my real estate team, there's really only a couple things that are actual emergencies Buildings on fire, someone's hurt, broken or bleeding that you need to take care of right away, or a deal that's supposed to close later that day is absolutely falling apart, and if you don't take care of it right now, your client may be homeless. Other than that, we just let everything else become distractions. Now I'm sure you can argue and find some other emergencies. Yes, okay, there's others, but my point is is that 5% maybe of what we ever let in is an actual emergency? Everything else is just a distraction.

Speaker 1: 3:43

So what can you do to let the distractions subside and not get in the way of you doing what it is you need to be doing and not get in the way of you doing what it is you need to be doing. Well, run your calendar. Sunday evenings plan your week out. As much as you can Figure out where you're going, mill prep for the week. If you need to figure out transportation for kids or something, get that going. If you need to reschedule anything, get that going and done. If you don't like to do a week at a time minimum, do the night before so that when you wake up the next day you know your calendar's set. You know when you show up and you open your calendar and say kids are gone to school 9 am, you know what you're doing.

Speaker 1: 4:40

And if you're in real estate, it's not legion. Because if you get to your computer and you sit down at 9, or if you're running a business and you're like, okay, I'm going to prospect for clients, you need to know how you need to have list pull. You need to know what pillar, which I talk about, the three pillars of how you're getting business, which pillar you're working on and the specifics. Because if you just say prospecting for clients, you're going to spend another half hour figuring out what that actually means and you're going to waste so half hour figuring out what that actually means and you're going to waste so much time and then your text will come off and then an email will come in and your phone will ring or the dogs are barking and you'll get completely thrown off track. You need to make the decision that you are going to be dedicated and you are going to make the decision and create the disciplines around this.

Speaker 1: 5:34

Consistency equals success. They're best friends. You can't have one without the other. You know, I mean it's just so interesting how quickly you can get off track. Or you know, you start thinking about things and then you go off from one thing to another, to another and all of a sudden you're off in la-la land. I mean it can happen so quickly. So it's just being able to catch it in that moment and bring yourself back to the task at hand.

Speaker 1: 6:03

I know recently I started working out again. It had been a while and I feel so much better already just moving my body and getting the weights out. And you know, I'm a lot less in weight than I was when I quit before, but I'm picking up the weights and I'm starting from where I'm at, so that's fine, but I noticed something and I wanted to share it here. So I'm watching this video on YouTube and she does. One of the videos is one minute of exercise, 15 seconds off, and it's just one exercise, one time through for 30 minutes, so you never repeat the same exercise. And so I'm in my minute and I'm just also my mind starts thinking and I literally go from here to here, to here to here and I'm thinking all these different thoughts and I'm like whoa, I'm thinking to myself gosh, my minutes probably almost over. And I look at the screen. I have 33 more seconds left, like literally in 27 seconds. Where my mind went and what I was thinking, it felt almost like a day.

Speaker 1: 7:19

And why that's so important and why I wanted to call that out today is because I talk so often about how our thoughts are so, so powerful and how your thoughts become things, and what you think about you know, puts you in the feeling and the vibration that you're in, and energy out is energy in. So if you're not liking your results, it starts with your thoughts. I want you to really be aware of your thoughts, because when we think 60 to 80,000 thoughts a day, and 80% of them are negative. How can you start thinking differently and catching it? The big thing is to catch it. So many of us just let our thoughts go. So just be aware of that this next week or two, and really, I have some of my clients wear a rubber band around their wrist so when they need to snap out of it, they can literally snap out of it, snap their wrist. It might hurt a little bit it shouldn't, but it will just sting and in that moment, just think of the good, or think about the polar opposite, if your thought is not positive or is not what you would intend or want it to be.

Speaker 1: 8:38

And the second thing I want to talk about is I you know I'm sure you might know Mel Robbins. She's just so fun to listen to. She has a podcast as well, and I just think that what she shares is mostly all brilliant. And she had said something and I wanted to repeat this here because I think it's so important that we teach people how to treat us. And just even in listening to her, I did so many of these things that I'm about to share with you.

Speaker 1: 9:10

But she said that these are the five ways that people are actually disrespecting you and you shouldn't stand for. And it's so interesting because, as I dive into knowing me better and as I coach people, you know it not only helps them but it helps me because we're all each other's. You know students and teachers, so I'm always learning as well from my clients, and what I've found is that I used to be that friend or that girl or that woman that I wanted everyone to feel so comfortable and feel so confident and so seen and so heard and just my empathy was oozing that I let anything go Like literally I would be disrespected in so many different ways because, I don't know if it's, you know, maybe it's because I or you know, just rationalizing it all out of why it's happening. Not that it was disrespectful, but it was because of this, because of that, because of this. And I have to give a lot of credit to my husband, bill, because he's really helped me to see that, no, that's not okay. Helped me to see that, no, that's not okay and stop letting that happen. You know, throughout our oh my gosh 17 years of marriage now it's been really interesting.

Speaker 1: 10:58

But when I heard this list that Mel said, I was like wow, looking back, because you can only connect the dots looking backwards per Steve Jobs, not forward. It is so true and it just almost like was this full circle moment for me. So I'm going to share these with you and I want you to think if you've been this woman or this guy and let this happen. It's more probably for women, but you never know. And she said that, first and foremost, do you have that friend that's always running late? And maybe you are that friend. I'm always early, try to be, I mean most all the time. Five minutes early is five minutes late. But those friends that are always running late and you're sitting there for 10, 15, 20 minutes waiting, that's disrespectful. You are valuable and your time is just as valuable, and so often I would just let that go. You know, no biggie. No biggie Like I'm'm not as valuable, you know.

Speaker 1: 12:09

So think about that, think about that and if you are that person, don't be. Honestly, don't be. Do what you need to do. Trick your mind. If you're supposed to be there at 1.30, say you're going to be there at 1.00. And then you'll probably be closer to 1.30. Tell yourself, tell your clients, tell whatever you need to get away from that it's one o'clock. Have someone hold you accountable to get going out the door by a certain time, but don't continue to show up late to appointments to your friends on a continuous basis and think that's okay, it's not, it's very disrespectful.

Speaker 1: 12:52

The next one is backhanded compliments. Do you have those people in your life that it feels bad when they give you a compliment because you know it's actually backhanded and it's meant to be nice, but there's still that jab at the end Dude, don't like. What are you doing? Why are you hanging out with these people? It's like, think about it. Think about when that's happening and who's doing that to you. And the family members are notorious for doing this as well. Girl, set your standard high and don't let that happen and I know I have some women on here that listen to this with their little girls, little girls, daughters, middle age I have a central middle schooler myself. Think about this as you're picking your friends, because you can start early If you're, if you're young Don't let these people that sound like they're your friends or you want to be friends with them treat you that way. And women and adults backhanded compliments and again, if you're the one doing it, stop. It's really just a reflection on how you're feeling on the inside. Figure out a different way and don't do that anymore.

Speaker 1: 14:20

And thirdly, she said if someone's pressuring you, if someone keeps pressuring you and trying to get you to do something you're not wanting to do, and you know, maybe you're teetering or you're just like no, or you're trying to be, as they say in Minnesota, minnesota, nice. You know, let them down easy or not say no. I'm here to tell you no is a complete sentence. No, I had the most brilliant way. A woman said no to me when I invited her to one of my seminars. She's like oh my gosh, angie, that is so fantastic. I love, love, love that you're doing this. You are amazing and I already have a prior commitment. But keep me in mind for future endeavors, because that sure sounds awesome and I'm so proud of you. Keep up the great work. Okay, so how's that for? No, that's beautiful and nice, but also it could have just been no, no is a complete sentence.

Speaker 1: 15:24

So if people are pressuring you, figure out a way to just say no or move away from those people, because that's disrespectful. The next one and before I got into real estate, I have to say this bothered me quite a bit more than it does now. But now that this is such an issue in my family, in my industry, it really actually comes full circle and it really does bother me. Someone's consistently on their phone while they're at dinner with you, while you're talking to them. Oh, I just got to take this, I just got to take this, I just got to take this. Well, what's that saying is that whatever is on their phone, or whoever's on their phone, is more important than you. That's disrespectful. Consistently on their phone. I have done this. I'm not perfect with any of these.

Speaker 1: 16:21

However, when, especially if you are a leader, or if you are a coach or a mentor, or if you are having a moment with someone, do not pick up your phone. So disrespectful. If you can't let go of your phone for a half hour to be with someone, to have a conversation or a dinner with someone or a coffee with someone, then don't schedule it. It's disrespectful. And the fifth is the person that talks over you. You have those people and sometimes it's just because they're excited or this or that or other things, but don't be that person number one. And if you're in a room where you can't get a word in edgewise, leave the room, find another room, find another place, find somewhere where you will be seen and heard. It's just like the phone thing they got a person that talks over you, a person that consistently is not paying attention.

Speaker 1: 17:28

I mean all of these things, these five things, are forms of disrespect and for so many years, I know, I let them just be what they were and it made me feel not so good, sometimes more than others, but I would never say anything or maybe it would come out some different way. But you can look at the person and be like, do you need to reschedule? Because that's pretty disrespectful. You know, I put time and took time out of my schedule to be here with you. If you can't be here with me, then maybe we should redo this a different time. Or not at all. Boom, think of the standard you just set. Not at all, boom, think of the standard you just set. Some people may say you're being a, b or whatever. Well, you know what you teach people how to treat you. So think about how you want to be treated. And some people maybe they're not supposed to be in your life and that's okay as well, I know. You know. Just thinking about all of this and thinking about where we're at today and versus the past and the future.

Speaker 1: 18:37

The next thing I wanted to talk about were if you ever watch Days of Our Lives I think the show might still be on. I watched it a lot in elementary and junior high and some in high school, but I haven't really watched it 20 plus years. I remember when I watched it, the openings with that hourglass. These are the days of our lives like sands through the hourglass. Well, the next time I really saw an hourglass was Bob Proctor. My first coach was Bob Proctor, my first coach, and he talks about this story where he has his hourglass and the sand's running through it and he talks about his friend Bob when they were 16. I think his name no, his name was Bob. Oh, he was Bob too. Two Bobs. So his friend Bob and him were closest can be two peas in a pod. And he said that one morning his friend left to go cross town, whatnot and he died in a car accident at 16. And it was devastating. You know he had thought that he had all the time left in the world.

Speaker 1: 19:49

And then, at the same time, my coach Bob would talk about how his grandma he's like she was the best woman ever. She was 60. And at the time I thought that was so old. And she would always say to him you know, enjoy, enjoy the time with me now, because you know I'm probably not going to be around much longer. And she'd say that over and over and over again I'm probably not going to be here much longer. She lived 30 more years.

Speaker 1: 20:20

So his point is is you don't know how much time you have left. So if you picture an hourglass, the top sand is what's in the future. The middle sand, which is the littlest part where the sand's running through, is the now and the sand at the bottom is the past. So his point is is you don't know how much time or how much sand you have left. At the top, you know his friend that died that day at 16, I can guarantee he didn't think that was his last day and his grandma she's willing herself away and she had 30 more years.

Speaker 1: 21:03

So as you're thinking about, you know, the sands of the hourglass, think about how do you want your life to look. You're not knowing how much time you have left and knowing that only the very, very little sliver in the middle of where the sand's actually moving is the now, and the rest, on the bottom, is your past, and so many of us are living from our past, whether you had a divorce or a bad breakup or relationship, maybe a bankruptcy, a loss of job, a loss of a loved one. You know, there's so many things in everyone's past. Everyone's fighting a battle and everyone's been through some traumatic event or another or another. And that is on the past. So how can you stop living from that place, from that energy, and focus on the now, focus on the little bit of sand that's moving that you can actually make different choices, with, that you can do different things, that you can act differently from.

Speaker 1: 22:11

And that is all of what the coaching is and the mentoring is. It's taking these blinders off and giving different perspective and awareness that you don't have right now. That's why I always have a coach. I always talk about it. The elite of the elite have coaches, the people that are doing the big things. They have teams of people, mentors and coaches that help them.

Speaker 1: 22:37

So really, I encourage you, and why I bring up the hourglass and the sands through the hourglass soar the days of our lives. Why I bring that up is because I wanted to give you a visual of what I'm talking about when I'm talking about letting the past be the past In the future, not knowing what it is or what it looks like, making the most out of today and really thinking about how you create your future. You create what it is you desire and you want, and if you keep going back to the past and the things that happened and the traumatic events, first of all, you keep living that because you keep going back to that vibration and that energy and if you continue to do that, you're going to continue to get more of the same. So, if you can stop going back and start living from today and from your goal and looking at what it is you do desire and what you do want, not what you don't have in the moment, so many people are like I don't have this, I don't have, not what you don't have in the moment, so many people are like I don't have this, I don't have this, I don't have that.

Speaker 1: 23:54

Well, start being grateful for what you do have and feeling from what you desire. It's coming from your goal, not to your goal. So just wanted to share those things today. I know that there's things that I hear throughout the week when I'm thinking about coming in and recording, and just a few different things I wanted to touch on. As always, enjoy the rest of your day, go make someone smile and focus on respecting yourself and setting your own boundaries and standards, because if you don't set your standards and set your boundaries, someone else will do it for you, and I definitely don't want that for you and I let that happen for way too many years in my life. So go do something for yourself and enjoy Till next time.