Saying No to External Approval and Yes to Self-Empowerment

Have you ever wilted under the weight of someone else's opinion, feeling like a mere reflection of their expectations rather than the radiant individual you truly are? 

Join us as we shed light on the transformative power of embracing our authentic selves, guided by the poignant insights of Cody Bret. Our journey together peels back the layers of perception and self-worth, revealing the strength that comes from understanding that judgments often say more about the judger than the judged. 

Especially for women tangled in societal pressures, this episode is a call to arms to lift the veil of external approval and unearth the courage to say 'no'—affirming that the path to empowerment is paved with self-compassion and resilience.

Steering through life's tumultuous seas, I recount my own voyage from relinquishing the anchor of victimhood to harnessing the winds of destiny. We delve into the crucial role of personal responsibility in crafting the life we desire, highlighting that our fate is not a pre-written script, but a canvas awaiting our brushstrokes. 

By consciously shaping our thoughts and actions, we can start a metamorphosis that propels us toward growth and fulfillment. This episode is not just a narrative; it's an invitation to join a like-minded community in pursuit of self-betterment, with the promise that, no matter the challenges, you are accompanied on this empowering expedition.

Chapters

• 0:29 Understanding Perception and Self-Worth
• 9:38 Taking 100% Responsibility for Results
• 15:47 Empower Yourself and Transform Your Life

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:29

All right. Today it's coming through. It's for the ladies. I have something that I came across that I just had to come on here and share with you today, and it's weighing more towards the women out there, and I found this quote online Jay Shetty wisdom quotes. If you don't follow him, it's a pretty interesting group on Facebook to follow, but this really spoke to me, so I wanted to come here and share it today, as I'm sure someone out there needs to hear this. So listen up and really, if you have a moment where you can just be quiet, where you can kind of detach from your surroundings, maybe close your eyes or just be able to be present while I'm talking, so maybe if you're driving, pull over. If you're in the middle of doing dishes, just stop and really listen to this, and listen to it with the intention of feeling what I'm about to say, because someone needs to feel this and hear this today.

Speaker 1: 1:41

It's about the way people view you. Sometimes I think about the different characters I play in everybody's story. You know, I'm a terrible person in some people's narrative and a God send in others, and none of it has anything to do with the person. I truly am the lens that others view you through is colored by their upbringing, by their beliefs and their individual experiences. Some people see your bright personality as endearing and other people see it as annoying. Some people think you're weak and emotional and others feel safe to be themselves around you. Some people think you're rude and selfish and others respect the way you stand up for yourself. Some people admire the way you take pride in the way you look and others think you're conceited because you spend too much time on yourself. None of it has to do with who you truly are as a person. What you have to understand is that you have no authority over how people view you, so never try to control the way others see you, because the only thing that truly matters when the dust settles at the end of the day is what you genuinely see in yourself. That's by Cody Brett. So let's unpack that, shall we, and really think about it, really go back to this how others view you and judge you and show up to tell you everything that's right about you and everything that's wrong about you.

Speaker 1: 3:42

When I say take a hundred percent responsibility for yourself, and when I've said that in the past, this is along the lines of what I'm truly talking about and that is show up being you, authentic, a hundred percent you, because that's the only thing you can control. You cannot control what other people say or what other people think, or how other people feel In some instances, how you communicate with them, you know, even if you're being incredibly rude or mean, they choose to have that response or reaction to you. Whether you're being sweet as pie, they can construe that to be manipulative. I mean, how anyone takes anything that you're saying or doing is because you're holding a mirror up and their feeling or looking and getting something triggered with inside of them good, bad or indifferent, and it's really all about them and it has very, very, very little to do with you. Again, it has to do with their upbringing, it has to do with their beliefs, it has to do with their individual experiences, what they've been through in life. And that's where it's said and if you really lean into it, we are all 100% unique because not one of us has had the same experience.

Speaker 1: 5:28

And I think so often, especially when we're trying to fit into a certain category or into a certain group or into a certain community, we have these labels put on us or we have these boxes that we're placed into and truly we don't fit any which way. We don't fit anywhere perfectly because we are spiritual beings having a human experience, and we're human beings having a spiritual experience. We're always evolving, we're always for expansion. We're not to stay still, so to even try to put yourself in a certain place or in a certain box or in a certain role. You should outgrow it and you should want more and you should go for expansion. So quit beating yourself up all the time when it's not working the way you want it to work, or when people are throwing judgment at you and on you and speaking over you all these things If you can separate this and really, really get this and I mean get this to your core.

Speaker 1: 6:48

It took me a while and it's still something that I can falter on and I need to go back and remind myself and I will always consistently need to level up in this arena and really understand that how someone perceives you truly has almost nothing to do with you. But why is women? Why do we take that energy on? Why do we put that burden on our shoulders? Why do we carry this weight through life of trying to please everyone, of trying to be everything to everyone, not understanding that no is a complete sentence and not understanding that when we say yes to something, we're saying no to something else and we just take on that no. When we make that no a yes, and then we make the next no a yes and we just continue to pile it on and so often we lose ourself in it. We lose ourself in our goals or in what we think we want or what we think we should have or what we think others want for us.

Speaker 1: 8:07

So this is where I work so closely with women in the goal setting and really understanding that we have these blinders on and that it's through the awareness and understanding this information that Bob Proctor taught me so, so long ago, and really showing up for ourselves and understanding that some people are gonna admire you and some people are going to think you're doing an amazing job, and some people are gonna look at you and they're gonna judge and they're going to talk maybe about you rudely, maybe to your face, maybe behind your back, and just know the more you can send love out to those people and the more you can send out good energy and just understand that that's something that they're going through, that's something about who they are as a person and bless them. Bless them and move on. God, I did not understand that. That pained me to even think about blessing the people that had done me wrong, that destroyed me in so many different ways, or my family, or all the things, and made me feel like I didn't have control and made me feel they made me, made me, made me.

Speaker 1: 9:39

You notice my talk, do you notice my speech? What I'm saying? It's all bullshit. You need to take responsibility. I didn't get that either, and I'm here to tell you these are the hard truths that it took me until I was 40 to understand. And now that I understand it and know it, I can't understand it.

Speaker 1: 10:05

100% responsibility that is on you, your results. What is happening Once you take 100% responsibility? Everything shifts. It's no longer happening to you, it's happening for you. Once you get out of the victim mode. And how she said this, how she did that, how he did this, how that happened, how the courts did this, the judge did that, whatever it is, it's happening for you, not to you. You filed bankruptcy, you had a divorce, you got in a huge fight with your kid, whatever Like. Once you start taking responsibility, your responsibility in these events and stop pointing the finger out and start looking inwards and not outwards, you will get your control back, you will get the understanding, you will shift the energy out of that victim mentality and that victim mode into a whole different vibration and onto a different frequency.

Speaker 1: 11:22

And the more you do this and the more you work at it because it's a muscle just like anyone. You have to flex it it's through the repetition of doing this over and over and over again and really reflecting and understanding and watching your triggers and just quit going throughout your day mindless. That is just one thing that I see over and over and over again. I did it for years 40. My God, everything was happening to me. I was the victim. I was going through my days not thinking because most people think they think, 95% of the people don't think. They just don't. They think they think, 3% actually think, they think, kind of think, but 2% actually do this work and the rest they would rather die than think.

Speaker 1: 12:19

Because you have to really be intentional about your day, about what you're doing, about who you're surrounding yourself with, what you're talking about, what you're thinking, what you're letting in If your results are not what you want, and if you are not where you wanna be whether that be in a relationship, whether that be in your business, whether that be personally, whether that be health, wise, financial, spiritual, whatever it is look in, look inward and start understanding that you are where you are because of you, not anyone else. You are where you are because of you, not anyone else. You are your only problem and you are your only solution. And this was a hard one for me. It was a hard one, and I, at the beginning, said I would do whatever Bob, the coach that I hired at the time, told me to do. I would lean in, I would go all in.

Speaker 1: 13:34

At the time, that's where I had no other opportunity or chances. I felt I was backed into a corner. I knew something had to change. I had no idea how to do it, so I was exactly in the spot I needed to be in order to receive this information, and you don't have to be as big of a rock bottom as I was. You don't have to wait until the bottom falls out, as they say, to understand this and to start creating awareness around this. So I am here today to tell you that, if you want more which you really should, because we're meant for expansion.

Speaker 1: 14:19

If this is resonating with you and if you want to understand really how to shift your awareness and your perspective and get the tools and the resources and the understanding of how to do this year after year after year, it's a beautiful gift and a gift you can give to yourself. I encourage you to reach out because it can change and will shift everything for you If you do the work. Yes, you have to do the work. I can't do it for you. No coach, no mentor, no boss, no partner, no kid. No anyone in your life can do this for you. You have to show up and do the work. But the beautiful thing is is you shouldn't and truly can't do it alone. I mean, maybe you could, but imagine taking what would take you year after year after year of searching and trying to figure it out and trying this and trying that. What if you could collapse that time and get all of this and get the shift in a quantum leap style where you don't have to wait years? That's what happened to me. That is what I intend to bring forward to any woman, really anyone that wants this shift and that wants to get from where they are to where they want to be.

Speaker 1: 15:48

Start taking control, quit being a victim and understand that this is a process. Once you tap in and once you start using your higher faculties, stop looking at your current results, detach from them and come at it from a different perspective. Everything shifts. In the beginning, it's almost instantly because your awareness shifts so drastically and dramatically. That's what keeps you going, because you're like, whoa well, if that happened, what's next? Then that happens, what's next? Then that happens. And it just keeps going and going and going and it's a whole different way to look at things. It's a new way to look at things. If you're looking for a new, if you're looking for a different way, if you're looking for an answer, I've got it, because I know if I can do this, you can do this. If I can do this, anyone can do this. I encourage you.

Speaker 1: 16:52

If this has resonated with you in any way, this year can be your year.

Speaker 1: 16:57

You just have to show up, you have to choose you. You have to understand that again, you are your only problem and your only solution. So know that it absolutely can be different. You just need the awareness, you need the tools, you need the perspective shift and you need to understand that it's all about your thinking. It's all about how you're showing up the vibration you're in, the energy you're putting out, you're getting back. So, looking at your results, it's shifting that, it's shifting your thinking, it's shifting your energy, it's shifting your vibration and I can show you how. I really hope this resonated with you, because you were meant to hear this and if it did, then let's do this, let's reach out right away and get on the call, because everything can be different for you and it can be beautiful. And we're here. We're here for beautiful. We're here to take these thousand steps on this journey and not have to do it alone. So know that I see you and I'm here for you when you're ready.