Seven Years of Sobriety: Celebrating Triumphs and Transformative Growth

Seven years ago, a decision was made that rerouted the course of my life; I embraced sobriety and never looked back. Today's episode is a raw and heartfelt celebration of this personal feat, as well as an exploration of the societal ripples it has created. I dive into the discomfort that sobriety can evoke in social settings and how it has often served as a reflection of others' insecurities. 

My narrative unfolds to reveal the growth from letting go of relationships that no longer serve us and steering clear of the temptation to wallow in victimhood. My husband's journey alongside mine, choosing to forgo alcohol, stands as a testament to how personal growth can have a profound impact on those closest to us.

Embarking on a path of change is seldom a clean-cut endeavor. I take you through the beautiful mess that is overcoming life's hurdles, from the inception of a new business to the conclusion of a chapter in a relationship, and, of course, the ongoing journey of sobriety. 

The potency of acknowledging our wins, trusting our gut, and shedding the weight of our excuses is key. This episode isn't just a reflection of my seven years of sobriety—it's a clarion call for you to recognize and honor your own conquests, learning to accept life's accolades and refusals with equal measures of confidence and elegance.

Chapters

• 0:29 Reflections on Sobriety and Letting Go
• 11:17 The Journey to Overcoming Challenges

Transcript

Angie: 0:29

Today I want to talk about my yearly sobriety. It's seven years as of yesterday for me and I know last year I did a podcast on the week of my sixth year, so I figured you know what. I'm going to start doing this every year and just kind of go over what I've learned, where I'm at, and just check in with you all, because you're here with me every week and this is a big part of why I am where I am and part of my journey, and I've learned so much and I continue to learn so much that I think it's something to absolutely share with anyone that will listen. So here we go, without further ado. I want to start with people being uncomfortable. It's amazing and you've I may have said this before and I'm going to say it again If people are uncomfortable with you let's say, in my case, being sober and not drinking it has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you.

Angie: 1:44

And I will speak from my own experience of not being in invited places anymore, obviously, very, very intentionally being left out because I don't drink. And the funny thing is is that I am so far removed from wanting a drink, from being a quote, unquote alcoholic. I understand it's a disease that's inside of me. I cannot have a drink or I'll wake the beast up. I get all that, but what about the people that just don't care anymore, like me, like I don't even crave it? I never think about it. It's not my go to when I have a bad day, like it once was, or a good day, or really any reason. I wrote four pages about why I drink and it was every reason under the sun, including the sun, including rain, including snowstorms, including vacations, including, you know, deals going good, deals going bad, kids being good, kids being bad, getting along with my husband, fighting with my husband. You can find every reason. But it's interesting is that you know you just don't get to go out as much anymore with the friends and in the beginning you don't because you need to just get well and not be in those environments. For me it was really quick. I was able to be within those environments and out with people and driving people around. That needed me to drive them around within six months, and I know in my brother's case he actually had to leave the state because there are so many triggers around here for him After he went through what he went through that. He just couldn't be here anymore. So there's extremes for everyone.

Angie: 3:35

But it's interesting, the people that have shown up for me, the people that have cut me out of their lives, and it's it goes into my next thing. You know what? I've gotten really good and even grown quite a bit over this last year and letting go of people and relationships that I've outgrown, or maybe they've outgrown me. Either way, we've gone in different directions and at one point in my life that would really upset me and that would really frustrate me and hurt me and I could go into kind of the victim mode of it, like I can't believe they do this, I can't believe this, I can't believe that and I choose to show up as a leader, because you can be a victim or a leader and I say you know what. I choose to look at it from a different perception perspective, and that is we served a role in each other's lives for a certain amount of time and we no longer do, and that's okay, as much as you think. The might be your do or die, ride and die whatever until the end of time, and it's always going to be you till the end. You know it could be a friendship, it could be a business relationship, it could be a family member, it could be many different things. Maybe you know someone that just has always been there and they're just not anymore. And instead of getting angry and frustrated and feeling you know like you did something wrong. If you did, side note, take 100% responsibility for it. But if you didn't, you know what can you take away from it. And what can you take away from it. Put it in, you know, your little heart, satchel and move forward with that piece of you and let everything else go and stop being a victim to your past or stop being attached to your past Like it's going to fulfill your future. Start looking at your future stuff and what you want that to look like, because when people feel uncomfortable, it has everything to do with them and really nothing to do with you.

Angie: 5:54

I know my husband stopped drinking probably I think, 10 months after I did just because he's like I don't know, I'm just gonna. You know I'm not gonna say I'm never gonna drink again, but I don't know, I'm gonna try it. You know I just you don't drink anymore and it's not as much fun to sit here alone and drink drink at night. So he just stopped and now it's almost like a numbers game to him. He's just like, well, he's six years in. He's like, wow, why, why would I like? I thought about it. But then I'm like, what's the point? Like, but he still has people in his life every single time. He sees them, and he sees them multiple times a year. You want him, want some, want one. And he's like, no, I'm good, no, I'm good, nope, thanks, I'm good, nope, still good. And it could be multiple times within the same weekend or within the same time frame that they're together and it's just like and he knows enough to know that has everything to do with them and nothing to do with him. He probably makes them a little uncomfortable because he's not who he was eight years ago, 10 years ago, 20 years ago.

Angie: 7:09

You know, we grow, we evolve and what we did at one point in time. People want to continue to speak over you and remember when, or you used to be and all that stuff, and really, if you were not expanding, we're contracting and dying. So I hope that you're feeling some of that resistance and I, you know, hope that you're separating yourself apart from people that want to hold you down or keep you in your past. So just be aware of that, be aware of that happening and know that first and foremost, understand why it's happening and who it's really about, and don't take any ownership over it and don't feel bad about it. And if you need to let go of relationships or people, do so. And if it's not anything that you can fully walk away, just don't go as often and when you go, don't stay as long and put your shield up before you walk into the situation and just be ready. You know and take care of you. Take care of you first, because the other thing is that no, the word no, it's a full sentence. No is a full sentence and that can be that.

Angie: 8:35

So, whatever it is that you're battling or wherever you're at, if something's not resonating with you or if it's something that you don't want to do, stop being a people pleaser and stop doing everything for everyone else and start looking at what it is you want to do and looking at how it makes you feel, because you'll feel it when you're asked is it contracting you or is it expanding you? And if it's expanding you, does it fit in your puzzle? Is it a piece that would fit in your puzzle of where you're going and what you're wanting to do, because even if it expands, you now might not be the right time. So you have to look at where you're going and that's why it's so important and I do so much wrong goal setting, because you first need to know where you're at before you can know where you're going, and then making that goal of where you're going, knowing that it's not going to be straight line there are going to be ups and downs, and yet having an outline and having a plan and being able to say no or not now is a perfect way to move forward. And if you need a very elegant, nice way to say no or not now to people, I have plenty of them. You can thank them. Thank you so much for thinking a lot of me. That's an amazing opportunity and it sounds like something that would be right up my alley. I understand why you're asking me and yet right now my plate is overflowing and I unfortunately cannot take this on. And again, I appreciate you so, so much for asking and thinking of me. That's just warms my heart, you know, and for now, again, I'll have to pass Okay, so you can say every which way, or again you can just say no, no is a full sentence. So, whatever it looks like for you, think about that for sure. And anything in life, and even going back to seven years ago when I was starting my journey of sobriety, know, whether it's a substance like alcohol or another one, or business, or maybe you're in a new stage of your life, or you're entering in a relationship or actually would be exiting, probably, a relationship, or, you know, starting a new job or anything like that. Just know, when you make the decision to do something different and to take a chance, maybe a leap of faith, choose faith over fear.

Angie: 11:18

It's probably going to be a really hard decision, or really hard in the beginning. I know. For me, when I decided, well, I was pretty much, in a good way, forced to quit drinking because it had got to a point where I was about to lose everything. So I knew I had to do this or risk losing everything that mattered anything to me at that point. It's very, very, very hard. In the beginning. For me it was second to second and then it went minute to minute and then hour to hour and then you got day to day, week to week, month to month, year, year. Here I am, but in the beginning it's going to be hard and know that that's okay. It's okay to feel the heart, it's okay to feel the it, it's okay to stretch through it and figure it out along the way and know that it will be figured out and just continue forward. It should be hard at the beginning and then, once you get through the hard part, then it's really messy For me. I had a lot of stuff I had to clean up.

Angie: 12:27

Obviously, when you're learning anything new, when you're going a different direction, when you're maybe separating out of a relationship or you're oh, there's just so many different ways this could go starting a new business, it's really messy because you haven't done it before, potentially, or you don't know exactly how this is going to go, or, if you've done it before, it was a different time and now it's yet again different. So expect the messiness, expect it to be a little unruly, and know that you'll figure that out too, because after the hard decision and after the mess of it, when you get to the other side of that, for me, seven years sober, it's beautiful, it's a gift. It's a gift I give myself and my family and the ones around me every year and it makes it so much easier to show up and to take what you've gone through and be able to take that piece of you, that part of your journey, and reflect on it and know that you can connect the dots, looking backwards and see where you're at today, as Steve Jobs says. But sit really for a moment and think about that, to reflect on it, to give yourself props, to say great job. So many times we just rush through that part of it. You know, every once in a while, if you can journal, write down all the things that you've accomplished, add to the list. If you don't want to journal, record it out loud, you know you can speak it and just really stop and see how far you've come and what you've overcome, because we've all overcome something.

Angie: 14:28

And in those messy moments and in that time where you're just not sure how this is going to work out, how you're going to get through it, you can remind yourself, if I got through, that I can get through this. If a way was shown, then away will be shown now and it's just. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing and the truth as you're going through life and you're hearing things or people are asking you different things, or you're looking for a business partner, or for me, it's when I hire a new culture or mentor like you'll feel it, you'll feel the truth when you hear it, because when you hear it, you feel it and if something's not feeling right or if you're just not sure, again that intuitive hit, follow it and see where it goes. And so many people, even when they hear the truth and they feel the truth, they still stop themselves from taking action just because maybe something happened in the past or they're just not sure, or they make all the reasons and excuses of why they shouldn't or they can't, or there's not enough money or not enough time, or you know you have one or the other. Just know that it's all excuses and it's all blocks and you want to dig a little bit deeper to see exactly what's holding you back. If you feel the need to do it and if you feel like you should do it, there's something else there and that's why you should always have someone that can help you kind of remove the blinders and see it from a different view and a different perspective. It's so, so, very important. Yeah, and I'm going to wrap it up today with just saying this and this took me a long time to get to and I still work with it and work on it quite often and when someone compliments, you take the compliment and just say thank you.

Angie: 16:39

Try it out, practice Thank you. You have to say thank you, oh yeah, like if it's closed, oh yeah, well, I got it this and this or that and that or, oh, this whole thing, or you know, oh, thank you. I just can't believe it. I was running out the door and all the things. Like if someone compliments, you make thank you the sentence. That can be a sentence too. Just thank you and take it in and receive it. Because if you're not open to receiving the compliments and receiving what people are feeding you with in the positive way, you're going to block and you're going to cut off a lot of the energy and a lot of the good that's coming your way. So I encourage you, if you're one of those people that don't take a compliment really good or haven't practiced how to do it, practice it, practice it. Practice saying no as a full sentence and thank you as a full sentence. It changes so much and it puts you in such a different energy when you accept a thank you and a compliment from someone.

Angie: 17:47

So that's it for today. I want to celebrate with you all my seven years. You can expect the same one next year for my eight year and many good podcasts in between. If there's anything you want me to specifically cover or go over, feel free to send me a message. I'm happy to specifically dive into something more that you may have questions on that you've heard here in the past. I'm always here, happy to help in any way. Whatever that looks like for you, have a good day, have a good one.